Songs That Were Released This Week That I Cared Enough To Listen To #1

This is a new section I’m introducing, it’s a weekly feature of songs that were released from the span from one weekend to another very creatively named “Songs That Were Released This Week That I Cared Enough To Listen To”.

You may be thinking ‘Isn’t that just the Weekly Release Muster thing you did for like three weeks you uninspired f*ck get some original content? What even is the difference Pinocchio? I can see your nose growing from here, it’s so big it’s giving the Burj Khalifa a run for its money.’ Well I mean, basically kind of, except this time I won’t frantically get my fine comb brush with broken teeth and scour my YouTube subscriptions to seek out songs when the end of the week rolls around to bulk up the word count because I forgot to listen and update the songs as they come out like any other normal self-respecting citizen of the internet would do. So this section could contain just 1 song a week or 100 (God forbid) depending on how many songs I listened to this week, it’s very simple, songs that came out a very long time ago that I only just got around to listening too may also rear their ugly heads because this is my blog and I make the rules.

Hyoyeon – Wannabe

This song is pure crap, literal audible excrement. The rap feature is expectedly awful if they wanted someone to just talk some nonsense 30 seconds they should have just given those lines to Hyoyeon, it’s not like she’s going to get them anywhere else, and for good reason. The thigh high boots make Hyoyeon look like she’s 2ft tall and the fact there’s no space or hyphen in Wannabe gives me hives. It’s honestly no wonder SM workers are so underpaid when this is what they let out the quality control. But despite all this Wannabe is still listed under the guilty pleasure category in my evident mess of a brain.


Honestly, the only thing that would compel me to buy this album is the fact that its physical copy is a pen drive. I put my current USB in the washing machine by accident and now I desperately need a new one.

Chung Ha – Hands On Me

I was rooting for Chungha. We were all rooting for you. I wanted her solo debut to have at least one song that was at least adequate. But instead, she was served a screechy bloodbath. Hopefully next comeback you’ll get it good my dude.

Recent Discoveries

Taemin – Press Your Number

I first heard this song when it came out following the, what I regarded as a masterpiece that was Drip Drop. I loved that song more than I loved myself, which honestly isn’t really a hard feat but still. I thought Press Your Number was vastly inferior to the prerelease and the fact Taemin’s hair looked as if Lee Soo Man grabbed his hairdresser by the collar and stared straight into her eyes and anticlimactically whispered into her ear ‘the school shooter please, I’ll pay you the minimum wage.’ which gained an overenthusiastic response, swiping the oil from the shelves ready to smear over Taemin’s head to give it that authentic ‘my parents are also my aunty and uncle’ look, the hairdresser whipped the scissors out from under her sleeve, she keeps them there for such emergencies, and to Taemin’s hair she went. This was the moment she had been waiting for. Minimum wage. It was a dream come true. Excitement and hair shrapnel streamed through her veins just at the thought of being able to eat a meal every day this week. This was it. The moment she was waiting for. She reached for scissors which were holstered about her waist like a cowboy on a budget. “ACHOO” rumbled through the hairdressers causing a 4.5 magnitude earthquake. Silence fell. Time stopped. Two inches of Taemin’s fringe gently fell like blossom in Spring. She had slipped. Causing this MV to be rewritten into SM’s take on the Simpsons Killer Toupée episode.


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